Views from Depression

I thought I’d make a public journal entry today. If you know me you know I’m very transparent and loved to be understand (Disclaimer – For every story I tell there is always five backstories hence why it may seem like I’m always rambling… LOL)
This year -2016 has been one to remember. I won some, I loss some, but I lived to see another day. I had some very low days after my grandmother passed in June. I felt like the world was against me, but with some great people I leaned on hard, faith, and just plain on you got to live through it to make you stronger mentality. I have to say I have learned the most this year and have learned a lot about myself and my world around me. I really tuned in on my Anxiety and Depression and that’s all I have been seeing, hearing, and thinking about. I kind of compare it to you when you fall in love with a car you tend to notice that car on the road more often now. How about if you were just talking about something and then it shows up on Social Media. That is called Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. What about the saying if you hang around broke people you’ll be broke okay maybe I mixed it up but basically you are a product of who you spend your time with. Try to hang with likeminded people but don’t limit the friendships of having diverse people on your team.
I see you feeling this and want to know more…Where I was going in the second paragraph was the past four to five months was the most difficult for me mentally. I had to find my vices in the world and that led me to a lot of things like Daily Affirmations, Podcast, Audio Books, Prayer, and Fasting. I received great advice from friends and that’s good, but (I) you need to be able to realize things for yourself. Though I wasn’t recently properly diagnosed I knew I was suffering from Depression and Anxiety. In fact back in 2012 I was on medication for it. It helped but I felt like wasn’t myself and to some of the members in my community I heard things like black people don’t go to therapy, and whatever else you may hear about it. I shouldn’t have listen, but again I found ways to cope. I spent large amounts of money, sipped drinks more than just special occasions. I started to notice my triggers and majority of the time I stomp it before it gets me. It’s hard and it’s definitely a daily struggle but I’m talking to you and telling you it gets better. Don’t believe me read this paragraph again.
I’m here to tell you taking charge of your mental awareness is phenomenal, but lately I feel like it’s Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. Everywhere I look someone is talking about their anxiety and depression like it’s the latest Snapchat filter. It’s all over my timeline and I don’t need any jump off spirits. Being that I still struggle with Anxiety more often than none it’s not something we should toy with daily like; saying something bad and then saying ooooh God forgive me! People I look up to and follow on their platforms are talking about their Depression and Anxiety? But why tho? Don’t dwell on it, act in it. (What I mean is find what makes you happy – Dropping Gems on y ’all)! Also we subconsciously grab pieces of what we see and slowly mimic it whether it be good, bad, funny, or indifferent. Be careful take care of you first and just seek happiness all else will fall into place. Be mindful of jump off spirits because the tongue is powerful!
We have 23 days left in 2016 people are feeling pressured to take that new job because it pays more. Stay with that man because he’s fine and pays all the bills. What about people Afraid to take the next step in their career. Someone who didn’t loose they weight they said they would lose this year. That couple that didn’t start saving got in more debt. Look the list is endless and I’m not even touching the heavier topics. I guess where I’m trying to go with this is don’t let what you haven’t done hold you back. Take time to reflect on all the good things that happened in 2016 set the tone for 2017 on a positive note and good vibes.

Stay Elevated


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